Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
How did you do it God? How did you make a woman who is
capable
articulate
pleasing
bright
strong
beautiful,
And still at the same time
tender
spiritual
sympathetic
characterized by deep humility?
—-
I have talked about my dark places many times,
in meetings
sharing with a friend
in my writings
in therapy
even a few times on the radio.
I have told many people that my dark places are
scary
stinky
ugly
disturbing
sickening
distorting.
—-
Last Sunday, I wanted to share with you, but I was afraid that you would be
put off
offended
a little distant
shocked.
I kept asking you, “Are you all right? and Is this too much information? But you were
gracious
calm
warm
tender.
You even told me a story designed to reassure me.
—-
Always before, I had only described my dark places. This time it was different. It felt to me as if I was actually showing the places to you like I was your guide.
I took you personally to the dark places.
I walked you through.
I stood there with you.
I pointed out the things that made my insides so dark.
I took strength from you and told you my deeply humiliating secrets.
You didn’t waver. You did lower your voice which only raised the intensity of your nearness. You
had a calming calm
were way beyond interested
were involved, intimate
asked me questions that were to the heart of the things I had suffered as a boy
believed in me, cared about me.
—-
I can’t stop thinking about those hours we were together. Because of your qualities, a healing process has begun deep inside of me.
your beauty is making the darkness less horrible.
your lovely fragrance is driving away the stench.
your light makes it less dark.
your power makes my dark places feel safer.
I have always admired you, but now
I am staggered by your depth
I am touched by your gentle love
I see that the awful things you endured as a little girl have become tremendous
assets.
Thank you so much. George
George Caywood 