There were many things in my younger days in my younger That were lovely. The best surrounded My baby Ruthie. I used to run a few blocks foo take her for a walk. There were also things like ,my My Moms verbal community and my fathers vicious spanking.

Around San Diego and with most of my siblings they were loved and valued. My older brother recognized the sheer hypocritical realty of the the family religion, After He got back from Korea he became the brother of my dreams,

I want to give you the crazy mixed up reality of my boyhood, That became the It was full of my mother’s verbal abuse and my fathers physical abuse. Sometimes he spanked so long and so hard I was afraid I was going to die. Sometimes on his bed in an seemingly endless cycle he would spank me then tickle me . One was as scary as the other.

Maybe now I can move on to how my brain was filled with Chaos. What that means is my recant fall was an attempt by my powerful brain to initiate something to dump out on the site my fall site to free my self of previous past all the chaos blocking my mental heath . My amazing brain was making room to spill brain trash so my brain [God] giving me a healthier space for God’ to give me the wonderful life he and I longed to enjoy together.

That is why I began to enjoy my life more. I have lost my fear of what might be in my coming in the remaining years of my life.

I get a little happier day after day to my delight!!

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