Jesus Wept

Those two words, “Jesus wept” are the the words of the shortest verse in the Bible.The passage is in John 9. He wept because His friend had died and the man’s woman friends were showing heart broken grief. When I was in a clinical, suicidal depression back in 1986 I often wept. In my recovery I assumed that my weeping was because of my being depressed. I now know it was part of my recovery. As the result of this misunderstanding I absolutely l slammed the door closed on crying especially out loud.

I have tried to begin healthy crying again. I just cannot reopen that door completely. The saying “real men don’t cry” is just too strong. One of the attacks that caused me to build walls over the crying door is the saying “If you want to cry I will give you give you something about” That threat implied being severely beaten. Physical terror made me work to keep tears totally unavailable to me.

Jesus weeping proved the falsehood that terror of that anti crying and threatening saying. I attend 12 Step meeting often and will again after the pandemic is dealt with by vaccines. When I have talked about the anti-weeping threats I received I have asked the group if that horrible threats was apart of their up there upbringing. Most of the people groaned or raised there hand. Some of you readers right have heard that threat.

I am working to recover my ability to weep. There is much that is terrible in the world that knowing how to cry in a healthy way is highly reasonable response. To date I have recovered to the point I can tear up when I want to. The love of my girls. now full grown. often brings tears to my eyes. As I right this I realize that my daughters probably do not know their love makes me tear up. Dear readers your reaction to what I post on Facebook often bring the gift of tears to me. My family and friends [you my friend] brings me wonderful tears. I love you all very much. George

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