Things That Limit Me

1. My mom was a serious over eater. I have struggled with over eating all my life. I remember that as a toddler or a very small child I Would got to the Icebox or maybe it was an old style refrigerator, {My family had both at different times} raiding the cold keeping device for my favorite treat.

The coffee drinkers in the family used sweetened condensed milk when they had their coffee. the holes in the can were made with an ice pick. I loved the taste and I loved the sucking. I was very careful to stop having my treat \to insure that there would be enough milk left so their coffee could use the remaining milk in the can and not notice my secret activities.

I am doing better than I ever have about eating. I am exercising so I have well developed muscles under the fat. There is less fat than in times past. Over a decade, I have improved my eating habits. I have lost an encouraging amount of weight based on the clothing I wear. I do not use a scale because scale bad news throws me into a time of guilt driven binge eating.

2. I am not real comfortable during a weekend retreat. I was so filled with bullshit growing up. I have learned to monitor what I hear so I do not learn attitudes that I will have to unlearn later. When I go to a retreat I have too much input into my mind to monitor. I get frightened when I have more coming in than I can digest and safely deposit into my prepositional spiritual and emotional foundations.

My idea triumph over the last year or so is as follows. ” I am powerless over the love of God”. My Higher power loves me the same on my worst day as She/He does on my best day”. God’s love for me and you is always with total power and total kindness. However, God is very careful to not be codependent.If I have a thought or habit that is hurting my life he will help me defeat my problem.

As one Episcopal priest told me after ne had victory over his drunkenness by AA “I can’t do it alone. God won’t do it alone. but together we got it done.

I have pretty well dismantled the” Spear Throwing, angry God. I love the picture of the father of the “Prodigal Son”refusing to listen to his sons apologies and repentance because he was so anxious to start the preparation for the giant party he was going to throw to celebrate his sons return. There will lots of fine wine on hand at the party.

I know Christians would prefer Jesus would have turned the wine into water. But it was a very high quality wine that Jesus produced .

Sometimes I think wine grape farmers must get annoyed that the wine they produce with great cost and labor is inferior to that Jesus easily produced out of water. Maybe the water sitting in big pottery was unhealthy. I notice Paul suggested to Timothy that he have some wine for sake of his stomach.

Along the same lines, the description in which the Bible for the celebration of tithing includes wine and strong drink. That party lasted for days and celebrants enjoyed alcoholic beverages all day every day. That story is in Deuteronomy 12.

That is all am writing this time. I am sure there is more to this story. I will work on that another time.


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