My Turn

When I was a teenager, about 65 years ago, I heard my father, Jess Caywood say “When is it Jess’s turn. That memory is haunts me. Those are the words of a very unhappy man. By nature he was a highly artistic, musical man. He kept himself limber and lean.

It was his misfortune to be married to my mom. Apparently she was a very happy younger woman but became embittered in later years. I know my mom’s dad was a very destructive man. Soon after my mom graduated from high school she found out her dad was dating her best friend from high school. I have very uneasy feelings about him when think of him.

I am 81 years old now. I just thought of my dad a few minutes ago and how he felt his turn never came. As I look back on my life I feel  very differently and not like my dad. I feel it has always been my turn. I am a very thankful man.

I remember how when I was raising my kids how people would warn me by saying “You are having fun now but wait till your girls turn 3 or become teenagers” . The bad years never came. I always was thrilled my girls were my daughters.

I have had many bitter disappointments. However, as I look back on those painful times I realize that My Higher Power always worked with me through my disappointments and made the pain end up working to my advantage.

The opening reading given to start my Alanon meetings includes the phrase that says something like “There is no sorrow that cannot be lessened”. I like to  change one word in that reading by changing one letter. I change the word lessened to lessoned. When I “Let Go and let God” I learn incredible things that enrich all the days of my life, every day, every week, every month, every year and every decade. That makes every day a day it is a “My Turn” day.






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