Random and stream of consciousness thoughts about vengeance
-Vengeance is a very good thing and it is a necessary part of any truly good life. There must be some idea that there is a dependable justice in heaven if not on earth and that in the end justice will be served
If I am to be avenged I have I must let god take care of it because if I try to avenge myself I can only behave in a way that will end up causing other people to need to be avenged for my behavior against them.
-That may be an important part of the power of a non-violent approach to life.
-It is hard for me to trust completely in the power of love because when I use anger I see resulting consequence immediately. The problem is in my experience my anger never works out very well for me.
.As a boy I suffered much hostile behavior. It seemed that anyone could get away with anything. Somehow that God would defend me ultimately. I must have gotten that idea from all the exposure to scripture I had even if I was too young to really comprehend the words.
That is not to say I have never felt avenged here on earth in the here and now. I can hear myself saying “There is a god” to express the feeling that I have been avenged or feel that God is on my side.
.I remember a time when my dad acted in my behalf. I was in kindergarten and lived in San Diego. I came home from school crying. An older boy had picked on me. My Dad dashed out the front door. I can still see it in my mind. He ran in an straight and up down stride after the boy. The boy and my dad arrived together at his home.My dad and his mom talked about it together and agreed the bullying had to stop. He never bullied me again.That result seems to me to be a bit miraculous to me. Nevertheless, it is still a treasured memory of my childhood
The above is not meant to be prescriptive for you. I do think thinking about vengeance is a healthy thing for me to do. growing up in a hostile home I often felt unavenged and tjat anyone could get away with anything they wanted to do to me, I believe I need to sense that people who purposely misuse me will be dealt with.
I am well aware that I think to much and enjoy things to not enough. My beloved Uncle Bill once told me that I got less joy out of my accomplishments than anyone he ever knew That was because I was persuaded that any thing I accomplished due to of the heart and wisdom of my beloved wife. All I did I attributed to her We have been divorced for about 30 years now and I still miss having her as my wife.