On Being a Kind Parent To Myself

Dear Helen,
I am reading a series of articles about kids raised without emotional support. In one of the articles it is said that the one total necessity for a child to grow up healthy, is that the child has to have a person that he or she can absolutely trust.

Neither you nor I had that. Your sisters, had that person, namely you. My younger sister had that person in me.

I have seen that your sisters trust and revere you. I saw it in their eyes as they looked at you at the meeting a few months ago.

After I saw that you were their person of consummate trust, I was able to see the same thing about myself and my younger sister. I was the trusted person for her. I was finally able to see the acceptance and respect that has been in her eyes for me all these years. That was a gift you gave me.

We grew up backwards. We chose to be a parent to our siblings, In that way, we allowed our siblings to safely mature. Now, as adults, we are giving ourselves the chance to grow up. We are parenting ourselves so we can become the people we were created to be. May God help us be kind, flexible and understanding self parents.

In a novel I am reading, a character says something like, “The most necessary ingredient for growing up healthy is toughness”. I am understanding that you and I are very tough. Never mind the drinking, motorcycling, fighting kind of toughness. All that alcoholic toughness is a fear cover up as far as I am concerned. We are the truly brave people. We are looking our fear square in the eye and calling our fear voices on their lies.

I am so grateful you are my friend,

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