When I was a boy I fantasized about being a football player that was a combination of Jim Brown and Gayle Sayers. I least I aimed high. I know I was dreaming in order to momentarily ease the pain of my dominating inferiority complex. But there was another reason I fantasized.I felt very unfulfilled with little hope I would ultimately be fulfilled.
I have worked very hard on my emotional health. Over time I became far less desperate on the inside.However still have felt I had never achieved a complete fulfilment focussing all my strength and gifts.
My beloved nephew Steve was out from DC for my daughter Jill’s wedding to a man named Eric whom I loved and to this day dearly love. The day of the wedding Steve had a severe bleeding in his brain stem in the early morning. I was with him with my sister Evelyn his mom in a nice Santa Monica hotel when it happened. They took him to the UCLA hospital. I was at the hospital all day. The day was filled with bad reports about the seriousness of Steve’s problem Evelyn and I were filled with dread.
Jill and Eric wanted to call off the wedding for my sake because I was performing the service. I told them no and that I wanted to do their wedding. It was easier for me to say because Jill and Eric only wanted a ten minute ceremony. They purposely did not provide to the audience because the ceremony was to be so short.
The wedding was in a gorgeous out door setting, There was a good sized croud maybe 150 people.Every one there knew about Steve’s tragedy and everyone there knew Eric and Jill personally including the photographer who was Eric’s dad Herman. We were all very somber.
During the ceremony I one hand from Jill and one of Eric’s hands first I said “Eric everyone here because they love you is represented by this hand’. Keeping Eric’s hand held by my hand, Then I took one of Jill’s hands and said “Jill everyone here because they love you is represented by this hand.”
Then I looked up at the audience. There is no way I can describe what happened next. There was a love force coming up from the group I could literally feel on my face. I was stunned because it was so unexpected and so strong. You are certainly within your rights if you think it was just my imagination but that description is so much less than what I felt on my face.
In a few seconds I recovered from my surprise. I asked Eric and jill to turn around and face everyone. I let the love run over them.We were so moved. It was unmistakable. After the ceremony other people that were there said they felt the same wave of love.
As for me, from that till now I have never felt the longing for the chance to absolutely feel fulfilled. I am a completed man . That wedding ceremony expressed every single thing I am or could be.