My basic spiritual help these days is te Al-Anon program. I have been in the program over 22 years. The title of this piece is “I am too Growing”> I am saying that too myself. No matter how well I am doing I too often start my self criticism motor and critcise myself.
A few minutes ago I thought of an experience I had back when I was about 6 months into my program. I have indeed come a long way.
I was driving north on Pacific Coast Highway from Huntington Beach through Seal Beach. I saw I was going to go right past a MacDonald’s. I decided to stop. As I recall, I ordered A Fish Filet sandwich, a chocolate Sundae and a coffee.
The shop was crowded so I had to wait in line which of course caused me to get angry as the world was supposed to compose itself according to my convenience. While I was waiting in line a nice military man went to the front of the line and asked for a refill of coffee. That was allowed in this shop.
I was livid but I didn’t say anything. I went to a table and gulped down my food. As I was leaving I routed myself past that man’s table where he was enjoying himself with his family. As I past his table I purposely let lose the biggest fart I could manage. If you have been around when I fart you may not believe this,he didn’t notice.
I got to my car and contemplated my behavior. I was so humiliated. There was a Al-Anon meeting that was going to start in a half hour about three blocks away.I went to that meeting which took away my decision to call myself an idiotic jerk.