I have an extremely close friend that is out of work despite her wonderful mind and work ethic. She is calling the day after tomorrow, which is Thanksgiving Day this year, Gratitude Day. To her, the term “Thanksgiving Day” has been so often used commercially and culturally with no direct reference to actually being thankful that the term “Thanksgiving Day” has lost meaning.
The happiest, healthiest people I know are grateful people. In contrast, I know a person who focuses and analyzes what is wrong in every situation. She continually and brilliantly looks at everything that is wrong. She is unhappy by her own admission. I sometimes do the same thing and ruin my day or week by looking at things in their worst light.
Focusing on and being thankful helps me. I am gradually getting better at it.
The reason that is important to me is because of an experiment I have been running for several years now. I try put the best spin I can on all my situations and relationships.I only practice the art of “The Good Spin” [or TGS] sporadically but I am improving.
I made a decision to think that she really is attracted to me, but is distracted by some really tough circumstances in her life. When I hold to that TGS thinking all the pain I usually feel goes away and when I see her, I treat her warmly as I would any other female friend. Maybe she wishes I would invite her to be my girlfriend again. I don’t know, but the whole situation is in a wonderful loving place in my heart. TGS has put me in a place where I am grateful for the whole event.
I recognize my best spin on my relationship with the woman mentioned above may be off base, Maybe she never was attracted to me and never will be. After all, the line of women upon whom my charm is completely wasted, who find me totally resistable , is a long and impressive line. But the opposite idea, that no woman will ever find me attractive is a totally in error and comes to me straight from my untreated co-dependent disease.
One thing’s for sure. When I start at the point of my habitual “Put things in the worst case scenario,” I am much further away from reality and wisdom than when I put things in the best possible light. I am so grateful to see that and understand that even though I need vast improvement in consistently living in the TGS way it is a good way to live.