TAKE IT EASY -One time my sister Evelyn came to see me at the skidrow mission at which I worked. After she had watched me work she said “George, if you are ever going to get married again it will have to be to a woman that God has prepared from her birth to be your wife. You are way to intense for any ordinary woman.”
-Another woman said “George you are easy to get along with but hard to deal with”.I have no doubt she was talking about the hard driving style life in which I lived.
-When speaking of the days when I was at the mission I have often said that “I didn’t know enough about serenity to know I didn’t have it.
-Much of the reason I had to live life so intensely was I felt I had to achieve in order to be accepted even by God
-Also, in my relationships I felt so inferior that in my mind I felt I had to act very forcefully just to get myself raised to the other persons power level. Of course that meant that the other person felt trampled . I did not realize that I was making others feel run over until shortly before I left the mission.
-I am sure that my children also felt dominated. It was very painful for me to find out how my children saw things until many years later. They let me know how they felt during the time we were all working our way through my extremely painful divorce.
-There is incredible wisdom in the idea of living one day at a time. My program gave me a pamphlet entitled “Just For Today.” I love the way that pamphlet refocuses my attention on the day in which I am living.
-When I am having a tough day I often work through things by referring to the program slogans. Most of the time when I do that the slogan that helps me see that the thing causing my discomfort is I am not keeping my thoughts in the place where my feet are located and I am living thinking way off in the future.
-I find that is always necessary not to shame myself if I am going to live peacefully. If my self talk is critical and I believe that God agrees with my self assessment I make it impossible for me to learn a new way of thinking. That’s because I can only learn from a friend. If in my imagination God is mad at me I short circuit the learning process.
-When I was a boy my mother was extremely critical to me. My mother has been gone since the late 80’s. It is frustrating to me when I hear myself being harshly critical of myself because then I am treating myself in the same way my mother treated me when I was a boy.
-It is absolutely true that if I respond to criticism by hanging on to the negative things said about me and at the same time let all the things good things said about me slip away
I will see life in a monstrously negative light.
–Now I am retired and I have finally begun to learn how to enjoy my life.