When I went to see my sister over Christmas I was so frightened. Evelyn has been a rock to me all through my desperate early years. When the situation got totally crazy with my mom she would drive 25 miles to our home and settle down my Mom. Mom would glower at her but she wouldn’t mess with Evelyn.Even after Evelyn left my mom would be nicer maybe because she did not want me to call Evelyn again. It was only there mat her house I realized she came to my house and she had three babies. WoW
I could not see how I could possibly deal with a diminished Evelyn. Jesus once said “If you are called to court don’t worry about what you will say. I will give you words”.
I remembered the Al-Anon idea about my responsibility was not to solve the problem just to love the person. We have all seen that personalized by Butch before our eyes. Evelyn was not a drinker but when I applied it to my situation it clarified. I was just to love her. That was easy for me. I also knew Jesus would give me the words to say.
When she talked I knew I was not responsible to make her better. I just answered her the best way I could. When she kept repeating the same words over and over again I knew there was a horror in her memory and if i just kept trying maybe I could work out what was bothering her since we shared so much long ago history.
When my efforts to answer her the best I could over and over again I finally responded to her in a way that was appropriate to her fear she would relax and gave me a sweet smile. My conversations with her were the most intimate conversations we ever had. Once I lowered my fear by turning over to my Higher Power powerful communications with her became hard work but wonderfully intimate.