With my Biblical background I often think of the text that encourages me to feel that it would benefit me if I would “Love God with all my heart”. With my program experience I think of “Praying only for a knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry it out.” To me both of these ideas convey the same truth. My willingness to adopt this truth depends absolutely on God’s stunning love for me.
Both ideas accept the idea that complete surrender to God’s will for me is fundamental to my well being. Both ideas are talking about a goal toward which I can grow not a demand to which I must immediately begin to completely practice. Both of these mental and spiritual health ideas are a process not a one time event. Both ideas imply that in order to begin toward either goal I must have an ever developing knowledge of God’s love.
To me both imply that God cheerfully accepts the reality that there always will be more of God’s love for me to discover. Also both imply that God cheerfully accepts that there will always be soul weakening negativity in me that hinders my serenity.
The idea expressed above in two different ways includes that I it is beautifully safe for me to expose myself completely to God. There is no chance of me feeling God’s rejection if I stand naked before him.
I can not love god completely if I am not willing for God to see all my failures. if I give all of myself to god i am giving god all that is good about me and also all that is self defeating for me. God has no illusions about me. He sees all that is positive and all that is negative about me and loves all of me with his magnificent love.
When I pray for a knowledge of gods will and the power to carry it out I have to understand that there may well may be a substantial time lapse between the moment I see god’s will and the moment when I finally have the power to carry it out. The time between knowing god’s will and the time I can obey god’s will is a painful time for me. I must not allow the pain I feel to turn into guilt and shame. That it takes time after I know god’s will to put it into practice is a part of god’s plan. The pain of that time is totally immersed in grace.