When I was growing up I was constantly on the alert so I could get my mom’s approval. If I slammed the door and she was displeased I made a note never to slam the door. If I she was in a good mood with me I studied what I had done to figure out what I had done to make her happy so i could always please her’
Now I understand that her moods had nothing to do with me. However, back then I evolved into a people pleaser and a perfectionist.
After I got into program I began to understand how devastating perfectionism and people pleasing were to me. That’s because as things were, my serenity was totally dependent on other people’s moods.
One time I met with my very experienced sponsor. I was in a foul mood. She listened to me without comment. Finally she said, “I know what’s wrong with you today. You are upset because you can’t give up your perfectionism perfectly.

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