I have worked so hard at getting the garbage out of me based on the idea “What God reveals God, God heals.” I have shared at meetings that I was sure that all the horrid memories of my boyhood were out and dealt with but I was wrong.
Today, right out of the blue, a memory came up suddenly and unsought. I recalled being locked in a closet when I was pretty young. I have no doubt that the memory is valid. When bad memories pop up like that over the years, the memories do not feel foreign to me. Instead the memories have a strong sense of recognition. I have been out of sorts for a week or two. I suspect my discomfort was from the process of this ugly memory working itself to the surface. I am writing this in order to reassure myself that the memory won’t somehow sink back down into the darkness again.
My experience has taught me that in order to keep that memory buried I have developed bad thought habits that are damaging to me. Having the memory surface like that is exhausting but it is in one sense the easy part.of the healing. It is up, it is out, I am telling all of you. I know I have your support.
The harder, more time consuming part is allowing my program to free me of the destructive thought patterns that I have used for so many decades to keep that memory buried. I Know that I will be healed of these destructive thought pattern as time passes. I am freer at this moment than I was when I woke up this morning.
I guess that means that my Higher Power is my Garbage Man. If I am willing to put it on the curb, my Higher Power is willing to haul it away.